Maybe I’m taking the abundance of SUVs around every corner a bit too personally. I live in a dense city neighborhood, and my building’s parking garage is very narrow, yet this doesn’t stop multiple drivers from swinging their SUVs around the corners and making dangerously wide turns that have me waiting for impact every day. So yes, I’m almost killed by SUVs daily.
However, I still believe my opinion is valid and goes beyond this horrific morning routine.
MotorTrend reported that the Toyota RAV4 outsold the Ford F-150 in 2024, with 475,193 sales, a 9 percent increase from 2023. Other industry tallies that group all Ford F-Series pickups together still rank the F-Series as the overall top-selling vehicle. In Q2 2025, automaker reports compiled by Reuters put the RAV4 at 124,049 sales, keeping it as the top-selling SUV for the quarter, but it still trailed the Ford F-Series and Chevrolet Silverado pickups overall.
Americans love their large vehicles, both the gas-guzzling models and the electric ones. I’m not saying I’m clueless as to why that is. It’s easy to understand the appeal of the SUV:
- Lots of room for lugging around kids and all their stuff
- Towing capabilities for traveling and camping
- Ability to drive over a variety of road conditions safely
- A lot of safety features for even more security
I’m not saying I don’t understand common sense, okay? I’m saying that I just hate them.
Safe In the Wrong Ways
Speaking of safety, the SUV is just plain safe. I don’t mean it can drive over a patch of ice; I mean that it’s meant to have wide appeal and make everyday people feel confident in driving one off the lot. There’s no going wrong with an SUV if you just want to commute in something comfortable and mindful. No mention of appearance here since most SUV buyers likely don’t care about that aspect.
There are plenty of SUVs to choose from, some with a focus on safety, others with a focus on range, and some with a focus on off-road handling. However, you couldn’t begin to tell me which one is focused on what. SUVs are like the male actors in a Hollywood rom-com you watch on a plane: they all look basically the same, except one has slightly longer hair and one wears a watch.
If you lined up America’s most popular SUVs and covered their logos, I couldn’t begin to tell you which one I’m looking at. It could be the Exploration 500, the IQ800, or the Sportage YMCA; I’d have no clue. And that’s honestly on purpose; car brands are aiming to make SUVs as homogenous as possible—safe, familiar, inoffensive, and nothing controversial. Jalopnik writes that the US’s very strict safety regulations also play a part, with those requirements dictating the SUV’s shape and features.
Even SUV stans have a hard time truly explaining how these vehicles stand out from one another. Said one guy on Reddit: “Pedestrian safety is a major reason why the front end of modern cars share similar profiles. However, I think there are still distinguishing features between different automakers. Hyundai SUVs have sharp and angular lines. Subaru has really leaned into plastic body cladding on recent models. Mazda has that whole smooth Kodo design philosophy.”
One’s a bit smoother than the other? Mind. Blown.
Masters of None
SUVs are touted for their versatility; they can pull things, drive on things, carry things, you name it. However, it’s that all-rounder stuff that truly revolts me. Just like I’d never go to a restaurant that has pizza, sushi, and tacos, I don’t want a big, honking vehicle that is ready to slapdash a bunch of tasks that I only need done once in a blue moon. No, I want to go to the sushi restaurant with a trained sushi chef from Japan and fresh ingredients shipped daily.
When I like a car, it’s because it’s a master at what it’s made for. Its design, features, and materials all have a harmonious focus, coming together to create a vehicle that’s amazing at what it does. The 1990s Mazda Miata, with its balanced distribution, light weight, lack of traction control, and responsive steering, is a master when it comes to handling. The little car feels like a go-kart, turning immediately, sharply, and confidently on the windiest of roads. Meanwhile, it has a lack of trunk space, and it’s not fast. It’s just not. But that’s honestly okay: people get the Miata because it’s fun, not because it’s a speed demon. If you want a speed demon, get another car.
Again, I get it. I get that some people just want everything. It’s convenient, comfortable, and capable. But you can’t make me like them. SUVs have no soul. They were created to appeal to everyone and meet every need, despite most people not even doing any of those things. That’s an entirely different aspect of SUVs that boggles my mind: the need for an obnoxiously large SUV squished into a tight garage, but you don’t even need the extra seats, cargo space, or off-road capabilities. Want boring? Just get a Corolla then.
The SUV can do a lot of things averagely, which is sort of cool to some people, but you won’t find anyone with a poster of a Subaru Solterra on their wall. Nobody has their Toyota RAV4 as a phone background. It’s likely difficult to find someone who drives their Volvo XC60 on the weekend just for fun. And that’s because SUVs are not fun; they’re boring, and everyone knows it.
Some people don’t mind, and some people do. I am someone who does.