Three months behind bars apparently was not quite the attitude adjustment Jeramie Lee Dahlhauser needed.
The 42-year-old Joliet resident had barely been a free man for two weeks when Joliet police say he climbed behind the wheel of his white Chevy Silverado sometime before 1:21 a.m. last Sunday and proceeded to create what can only be described as the world’s least successful road trip. According to police, Dahlhauser blew a red light on Western Avenue, plowed into a Toyota Corolla crossing Center Street, kept on rolling westbound after the collision, flipped his truck over, and then, just to stick the landing, took out two parked cars that had done absolutely nothing to deserve it.
At that point, a reasonable person might call 911, check on the other driver, or at the very least sit quietly and wait for the consequences. Dahlhauser allegedly chose a fourth option: he jumped out of the wrecked Silverado and ran south on foot.
This is where a Good Samaritan stepped in, chased Dahlhauser down near Campbell and Pearl Streets, and held him there until officers arrived. Dahlhauser reportedly responded to this act of civic heroism by biting the witness on the arm. Not a handshake. Not a thank-you. A bite.
When Your Rap Sheet Is Longer Than Your Insurance Policy
Joliet police spokesman Dwayne English confirmed the sequence of events, and the criminal complaint tells the rest of the story. Dahlhauser was hit with aggravated DUI, which carries extra weight because this is not his first time at this particular rodeo. Court records show prior DUI convictions in Will County in April 2011 and in Winnebago County back in June 2000, making Sunday’s alleged offense his third violation. That is a trend, not a coincidence.
Beyond the DUI charges, Dahlhauser also collected aggravated battery and violation of pretrial release, the latter being especially notable given that he had only been out of the Will County Jail since March 16. He had been locked up since December 29 on domestic battery and violation of a protection order charges from a separate Joliet police arrest.
Officers who arrived on scene noted signs of alcohol impairment and found open alcohol inside the vehicle. The driver of the Toyota Corolla that Dahlhauser allegedly struck suffered minor injuries. The Joliet Fire Department transported Dahlhauser himself to St. Joseph Medical Center for injuries from the crash.
The traffic citations issued read like a checklist of every possible way a person can be wrong while operating a motor vehicle: running a red light, failure to reduce speed to avoid an accident, operating an uninsured vehicle, improper lane usage, open alcohol, leaving the scene of an accident, expired registration, registration suspended for non-insurance, and failure to carry a driver’s license. At some point the list stops being charges and starts being a personality assessment.
After being treated and released from the hospital, Dahlhauser was processed at the Joliet Police Department and returned to the Will County Adult Detention Facility, where he remained as of Thursday. For car enthusiasts reading this, yes, a Chevy Silverado was involved, and no, the truck did not make it. Neither did the Corolla’s bumper, two innocent parked vehicles, or one bystander’s forearm.
The Toyota, for what it’s worth, was just trying to mind its own business on a Sunday morning