There are two things Americans take seriously: law enforcement and hot pizza. On the night of March 16, the Cortez Police Department somehow managed to honor both at the same time, and honestly, we have questions. Good ones.
Officer Joseph Yen pulled over a Domino’s delivery vehicle at 8:38 p.m. near 900 S. Market St. The reason? A suspected active warrant on the driver, plus a busted license plate light. Yes, a license plate light. Car enthusiasts will recognize this as the kind of infraction that your buddy with the “stance build” gets away with for two years before the universe finally catches up to him.
The driver was arrested on a warrant issued just four days earlier, on March 12, for failure to appear on a theft charge. The stolen item? Property valued at $99 from Walmart. To be clear, a pizza delivery career was interrupted over roughly the cost of a decent car battery and a bag of beef jerky.
When the Badge Also Comes with a Side of Marinara
Here is where the story takes a genuinely wholesome turn. Rather than leaving some hungry customer stranded at home, refreshing their order tracker app in a spiral of disappointment, Officer Keirnan Korthank stepped up and completed the delivery himself.
Nobody went hungry that night. The pizza arrived. Justice was served, along with what we hope was at least a medium pepperoni.
There is something almost poetic about the whole thing. A man with a warrant tried to stay off the radar by delivering pizza in the dark, only to be caught out by a single, tiny, non-functioning light. It is the vehicular equivalent of wearing a disguise but forgetting to take off your name tag. Car guys, you know the feeling. You spend three grand on coilovers but cannot be bothered to replace a two-dollar bulb.
The Cortez Police Department has not commented on whether Officer Korthank received a tip.