Grand theft auto has come a long way from hot-wiring and speeding off into the sunset. These days, thieves have to contend with cameras on every corner, license plate readers that never blink, and police departments that can practically watch a stolen car in real time on a map. That last part is exactly what tripped up one man in Tulsa, and it didn’t take long at all.
The whole thing kicked off on July 22 at a Home Depot, which honestly feels fitting. If you’re going to steal a car, doing it outside a hardware store means the victim is at least well stocked on ways to build a new one. The owner had parked his purple Nissan Rogue outside, run in to grab whatever project supplies brought him there, and came back out roughly 25 minutes later to find his SUV simply gone.
That’s usually where these stories get frustrating for the victim, since a head start of even a few minutes can make a car vanish into a city. But Tulsa PD’s Real Time Information Center went to work almost immediately, leaning on their network of Automated License Plate Readers to pick up the Rogue’s trail. It’s a good reminder that the getaway car business has gotten a lot riskier over the last decade.
Within a short window, RTIC had eyes on the stolen Nissan cruising north, and officers were dispatched straight to it. Lights and sirens went on, and the driver made the sensible choice to pull into a bank parking lot rather than turn it into a chase. Officers surrounded the vehicle and took 30 year old Jason Southard into custody without further incident.
A Rushed Makeover
Here’s where the story gets a little absurd. In the short time he had the Rogue, Southard apparently decided a disguise was in order. He pried the Nissan emblem off the vehicle and spray-painted over the Nissan lettering on the trunk.
It’s the kind of amateur move that might fool someone from a distance, but a purple Rogue with fresh paint smeared across the badge area probably drew more attention than it deterred.
Beyond the joyride and the paint job, the victim reported about $1,000 worth of tools and equipment missing from the vehicle, gear that likely never makes it back regardless of how the case shakes out.
A Strange Explanation
When officers asked Southard why he took the car, he reportedly told them he thought having a vehicle might help him find work. It’s an oddly candid answer, even if it doesn’t do much for his legal situation.
Southard was booked into the Tulsa County Jail on charges of Larceny of an Automobile, Third-Degree Burglary, and Malicious Injury to Property. As always, these are charges, not a conviction, and the case will play out in court from here.