Florida has spent years perfecting the art of the improbable police blotter.
Eugene, Oregon, made a respectable attempt to enter the conversation Saturday afternoon.
Police say a driver was moving at roughly 5 mph and swerving into oncoming traffic when he struck a neighborhood market. He then backed away from the building, parked, used duct tape to secure his damaged bumper, and continued driving.
The encounter became stranger when officers caught up with him.
Things Get A Little More Eugene
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The Eugene Police Department said officers were sent to Everyone’s Market on West 19th Avenue at about 3:22 p.m. on September 26 after a driver crashed into the building.
Witnesses had seen the vehicle traveling at approximately 5 mph while swerving into oncoming traffic before it reached the market.
Police said the driver reversed away from the building, parked, and used duct tape to secure the front bumper back onto the vehicle before driving to West 20th Avenue and Polk Street.
Officers stopped the car there and contacted the driver, whom police identified as 55-year-old Brian Charles Wentzel of Eugene.
Police said Wentzel had a strong odor of alcohol, slurred speech, and was difficult to understand. He acknowledged consuming alcohol earlier in the day but reportedly did not remember striking the building.
During the conversation, an officer asked Wentzel whether he had eaten that day.
Police said Wentzel responded by handing the officer a whole, uncut avocado without explanation.
Eugene has enough affection for eccentricity that “Keep Eugene Weird” has become part of the local vocabulary, although even that slogan leaves considerable room for interpretation.
The Avocado Has Been Here Before
Wentzel is not the first person to make an avocado part of a police encounter.
A Missouri sheriff’s deputy stopped 21-year-old Benjamin Hensley near Branson in 2016 after seeing smoke coming from his vehicle. When the deputy asked what he had been smoking, Hensley pointed toward an avocado sitting in the center cupholder.
Hensley had hollowed part of the fruit and fashioned it into a marijuana pipe. He handed it to the deputy, who reported smelling burnt marijuana coming from a hole in the avocado.
The deputy seized the avocado as evidence, and an evidence technician instructed him to place it in the evidence freezer.
Prosecutors later charged Hensley with marijuana possession and possession of drug paraphernalia, with the charging document specifically identifying the paraphernalia as an avocado.
California managed to build an entire undercover operation around the fruit.
In 2001, authorities in San Diego County spent three months investigating stolen avocados in an operation called Operation Green Gold.
An undercover officer posed as a drug user who had turned to avocado theft and offered hundreds of pounds of supposedly stolen fruit to buyers. The investigation ended with the arrest of a produce-packing business owner whom authorities said purchased the avocados.
The Los Angeles Times reported at the time that avocado theft was costing growers millions of dollars, giving the absurdly named operation a fairly serious economic target.
Wentzel’s avocado required considerably less investigative work. Police have not said why he handed it over.
One More Problem With The Car
Police said Wentzel was required to have an ignition interlock device but did not have one installed in the vehicle he was driving.
He was cited for DUII, reckless driving, violation of an ignition interlock device requirement, and driving while suspended. Officers also obtained a search warrant to collect a blood sample.
All parties are presumed innocent unless and until proven guilty in a court of law.